New Year Resolutions

New Years Resolutions 

I don't like resolving to do something in the new year; I never liked the thought that the past year wasn't good enough and I had to somehow make a fresh start because I failed. To make a resolution, one must make a firm decision to do or not to do something. I don't think I am in any position to be making proclamations about how I won't do this or will do that this year. The last thing I must do is sabotage myself in the new year. Why set up a series of wickets to jump through when I know full well life is anything predictable. One moment I resolve to go in one direction, and the next thing I know, a new path has formed, and I am left standing at a crossroads. Then my brain begins to spin; honor the old resolution to do this, or see where the new way leads? And yet, I make a 2023 resolution. I resolved to settle down and try to return to teaching full-time, putting to bed any notions of pursuing an unconventional career path. I did not want to do this, but I felt a sense of duty and commitment to myself and my family. As soon as I resolved to do it, the slow creeping sensation that I was making a big mistake started rising inside me. I like children, and I enjoy teaching, but I am no longer happy with the system in which educated adults are asked to give of themselves as educators. And I feel like something is beyond the walls of what is deemed a safe bet, but I had resolved to go back to the only work field I knew, so I felt like I had to commit. But this feeling wasn't wrong, and it just wouldn't go away. Then just one day after this internal turmoil began to rack my brain and heart, I received an email from the adult education coordinator at our local community college. 

I had interviewed in the fall but hadn't heard from them and figured it died on the vine. How wrong I was to believe that. They offered me an opportunity to step into the role of adult enrichment instruction as a creative writing instructor. I will teach memoir writing. Am I a celebrated or published author at this point in my career? No, what you see on this blog is currently what you get. Does it mean that I can't teach a class on memoir writing? Absolutely not; this opportunity let me share what I love to do with others while holding my feet to the fire to get my work published. In a moment, my life changed, and a new door was opened for me. It is not full-time employment, but it is employment that allows me to continue with creative endeavors. It is not a conventional paycheck with the daily rhythms of routine.  But it is fluid and changing as the college community expands and grows. How exciting to be asked to be a part of something as it grows! 

I said yes to the job offer.

It leaves the door open for new paths. This unique opportunity laid waste to my original resolution to fall back on what I knew instead of trying something new. And in those moments after I said yes to the job, I decided to no longer resolve to do anything each new year. How can I make resolutions for an entire year when the beautiful unpredictability of life lay before me? So, I will wing it because it seems to have worked so far.