New Seasons

:: New Seasons ::

        I opened my Gmail this morning, and the universe seemed to signal everyone that today was the official first day of informational email season. The page populated with emails from two of the three schools my children attend, the dance studio, the soccer club, and the human resources department of the school system, where I substitute part-time, and that was just my personal email. I didn't dare log into my work email to see what things were brewing. It appears that a new season is upon me; frankly, I am annoyed. I didn't agree to this shift yet. I feel like August is trying to pry me off summer one finger at a time, and I just want to scream, I am not ready!  

    My thoughts begin to wander... 

inevitably, things will shift as August flies by, as it always does. I think we need to focus more on the present moment before entering another season of family life. And, of course, the obvious that I have been avoiding, I am also entering a new season. 

    I am officially an Adjunct English and GED/ABE Instructor at our local community college. To say that I am thrilled is an understatement. It comes on the heels of a dry spell ( more like a severe drought) in my professional life; I applied for job after job in the local school system and did not even get as much as an interview. It stung, especially since I had been substituting, and time after time, I would hear others offer statements of disbelief that I wasn't even considered. Bitterness began to plant seeds in my heart, and I doubted I would ever find a job. But at that lowest moment, I received two calls from the community college asking for interviews. In those interviews, I met with other professional women who saw my resume and education and decided it added to my promise. I felt seen. The worth and value of all my experiences and education within my wonky resume ( gaps for raising children and moving with the military) had finally added up to my potential in the eyes of someone. It is work that promises growth in the future and the hours to balance home and work life without feeling like I am unraveling at both ends. And it finally allows me to focus on my writing and creative endeavors. It will come with a cost because higher education employment is not known for its lucrative payouts. Nevertheless, it is a new season in my life. 

     And just on cue, as if it was preordained by the universe again, the shift in my professional life is also shifting my personal life. I am renewing my promise to focus inward and be grateful for all the blessings family life has given me. I am slowly weaning myself off the need to be all things to everyone. I am saying "no" to things that, a year, I would have felt guilty about cutting out of my life. And I am slowly removing the things that don't bring me joy.  This new season of life has changed my outlook on how I use my time.  I am focusing more on special moments with my family and putting energy into projects that promote outward creative vibes in the universe. You know, trying to counterbalance the negative power. This new season of life may be what turning forty looks like. 

The dog barks at my feet. He is hungry. I am back in the present moment. And I will read these emails, but for now, I will enjoy a second cup of coffee sitting on my front porch. 

Afternoon spent at the lake