Manifestations, Metamorphosis, and Musings
The days are becoming shorter as the earth shifts from light to darkness. The garden is plowed under and ready for the sleep of winter. The trees bend shake off a year's work, as the leaves form a halo around the roots. The seasons keep changing and time seems to tick by with a solemn reverence for the fleeting nature of life. I love this time of year, and I hate this time of year. The shortness of days and the grey cloud cover can make anyone feel melancholic because it reminds us of our finite time on this earth. I dwell in that space from time to time but I have tried to reclaim this season of letting go as a season where manifestations and metamorphosis can occur. I wrap myself in the gossamer webs of magical possibilities and force myself out of the cocoon of summer complacency. As the seasons shift, I feel drawn to put my feet on the path and walk along the wooded path toward newness and change. Autumn lifts her veils and reveals new untrod pathways into a richer sense of life.
This autumn proves to be no different than those of the past. The kids are another year older and thriving as they firmly place themselves into the rhythms of a new school year. I can't help but notice the small changes that build upon each other, creating a continuation of life in them. It is bittersweet. I want to hold onto them and cradle them as I did when they were babes, but I also find so much joy in watching them become fuller human beings each year. I find myself changing as a mother, attending to different needs than I did in the past. Long talks until late about life, relationships, and dreams instead of bathtime rituals and nighttime stories. It is a beautiful dance were do as parents; step by step, the pace of life quickens as our children find their own footing in this wildly messy world. The vocation has never been for the faint of heart. This new time hewn out of their growth has left an open space for me to explore myself as a woman. A friend recently sent me a photo of an empty chrysalis and the newest swallowtail she has been caring for over the past weeks. She is drying her wings on the edge of a flower and readying herself for the new part of her journey. I feel like that butterfly. The latest metamorphosis in my life as I transition back into the work world. I am older. I am a bit wiser. And, I am a lot pickier about how I spend my time.
Lo and behold, my musings and manifesting have paid off these last few weeks because I will teach creative writing to adult learners in the new year at the local community college. It is a position I already cherish because I can teach others how to express themselves through the written word, and it will be done because they want to be there. No grading. No exams. Just the purity of the written word. It is wild how something I have dreamt of all summer has finally materialized before me. In the meantime, I am writing again and sending out essays for publication all while putting the finishing touches on handmade goods ready for sale. I am slowly finding a rhythm of working that satisfies my soul.
Autumn also brings new life into our home, we lost our beloved Scooter this past winter and I would be lying if I didn't say that saying goodbye to our loyal friend of 15 years didn't break a part of my heart. Dogs are amazing intuitive creatures who burn so brightly with love that when they leave us, it feels cold and lonely. We as a family struggled with the idea of getting another dog but as life would have it, I stumbled upon a dachsund breeder by chance. And, this November our house will once again be filled with the love and light of a dog. We will call him, Oliver. He isn't replacing Scooter rather Oliver is brought to us by our love for Scooter. To say we are excited is a bit of an understatement.
So, as I walk the wooded paths of life I can't tell if the paths are revealed to me or if I am manifesting those paths in order to create a newer version of myself. What I do know is that I would like to spend more time on them because they bring me an immense amount of peace.
In honor of the Autumnal Equinox...
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