Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Reflections in a new home....

:: Reflections in a new home ::


After many, many months of silence and little bits and pieces of blogging, I am back with a renewed sense of spirit. We are settled into our new home for the next year or two as we search for the perfect homestead. It is a nice little townhouse with a fenced backyard that overlooks a walking trail and woods. It is bigger than our last place but still cozy and feels like a home after weeks of unpacking and arranging of things. We have downsized some of our stuff and opted for a more modern minimalist feel in our living spaces. Just what we need to live comfortably. I would be lying if I said I didn't like the place. It is nice and I think it will be good for our family as we save and search. 

I have this dream of a little home on about 3 to 5 acres. Just enough house to possibly grow a little bigger but not so much that I feel overwhelmed when cleaning or when the children grow up. Land enough to have a lovely large vegetable and flower garden. A place sunny spot for a coop for my hens. Yes, I have named them already. Maybe even a little stream. I love water and flowing water feels life giving. I want a home where the sun pours in every window and feels alive. It is a tall order because no place has it all. So I am realizing that we may have to wait just a bit longer and save a few more pennies ( or thousands) to build that little home. It is a test of patience and perseverance on our part. The little voice of doubt creeps in and tells us to just settle and give up. It is a voice that says "what do you know about chickens?" or "you won't ever be happy or have time". I will admit that I easily fall prey to that voice and begin to doubt our dreams. So, we take a ride along the back roads of this county I know so well and I see those plots of land and open spaces and my spirit is renewed. I won't give up that dream we have had for nearly 10 years now even if it takes a little while longer. Dreams are worth cultivating. 

Our lives have changed quite a bit since being back in our little hometown. Our oldest daughter went back to school at the local elementary school. I knew she would want this because she missed school and her friends. Homeschooling was wonderful while in lasted and I am happy that we did it. I was a bit sad when she went off that first day but then I realized that it does not have to end. We still learn so much at home together and we build on what she learns at school. It feels right. I have our younger two at home and we are plenty busy with the day to day of preschool learning and playing. Life has changed once again but we all have adapted and fallen into a routine that is comfortable to who we are as a family. It is a routine that I can see us doing for many years. 

So with the responsibilities of homeschooling being lessened on me, I am open again. It is taking a while to get back into the swing of how my life is now and what I want out of dailiness. The daily chores are the same but now I am writing again, creating again, and beginning to think about continuing my education. I love learning and if I could be an eternal student I would. I have waited for 11 years to do graduate school. I know I will be older than my classmates but I feel like I am much wiser about what I want out of schooling. It means something different to me at 33 then when I was 22. Maturity is the word I am looking for, yes...maturity. Now the question is History or Creative Writing or maybe even English? Decisions, Decisions. 

There is a lot to be thankful for these days and a lot to decide but with each day the fog lifts a little more and things becoming clearer.