Monday, June 02, 2014

Changes...

:: Changes ::

Changes.  I am not big on changes ironic isn't it? My husband is in the Navy and we move every 2 years but the truth is that I don't like changes. I would love for everything to stay in the moment but that won't happen. 

Our home is going to go through some changes in August. I know, I know is only June but I am beginning to the feel of weight of what the future holds. Miss E went to the local elementary school today for her entrance assessment today. And while I sat there waiting I realized that my baby is growing up. I guess I didn't see it or maybe I never really thought about it We go about our days and I never stop to think that time is clicking along. 

She and we ( my husband and I) decided over the winter that if she wanted to attend public school we would let her and if she wanted to continue with homeschool we would let her. When asked....she excitedly said " I want to try school". ( With this being said, we have agreed that as our children get older if any of them want to change the method in which they learn we are open to homeschool and it may be a necessity depending where life with the Navy takes us).  We want to honor her wishes and I happily signed her up for Kindergarten. It has been exciting to see the school, meet the teachers, and see our daughter walk around little a "big" kid. I know she will do well and we will continue to guide her through life as she learns but I will miss her and it is difficult to make educational decisions for your child. Everyone is so different and what they want for their children is different. I am happy that we have the ability to give our children the choice. Now, it seems silly that I am emotional now when school doesn't start until the end of August but maybe if I face my emotions it will be easier on the first day. I laugh to myself because no one told me that parenting would be so hard when it came to letting them grow up. But I know in my heart it will all be okay because when she talks about the school and the teachers and what she will learn then her face just lights up. Truthfully, it is a wonderful school (only k thru 2nd grade) and the teachers are outstanding. So, I know will be a bit weepy on the first day of school but I will rejoice in the fact that my daughter is happy. 

With this being said, in August we also learn our fate with the Navy ( sounds dramatic right?) Will they keep us? Will they release us? I am on the fence. All we have ever known is the Navy way of life. It is a safety blanket and secure feeling to know that we are being looked after and the job security is there. But it would be so nice to settle down in one place. I am truly torn and my husband and I have nightly discussions and prayers about what we should be doing and where we should be going. I have resolutely turned this over to God. I just know that He will lead down whatever path we are meant to be on. But that also means doing things we may find hard or inconvenient to our comforts. We shall see....

Don't get me wrong I am generally a happy person and this post seems a bit heavy but sometimes you just gotta get it out on paper ( virtual paper that is) to see it, embrace it, and make those feelings get you to a new place. Changes will come as they always do...I am just learning to embrace them and see where the new path takes me and my family.  

6 comments:

  1. changes are difficult, aren't they? I love you love the Lord. I'm praying over you Deuteronomy 31:8 in this time of (potential) upheaval. He knows exactly where He wants you & He has gone before you. I'm excited for your kindergartner. When our oldest went to pre-k (at the local elementary school), I remember waiting with bated breath for him to come home so I could hear ALL about it. :-) That's exciting for her - & she sounds brave! Not a lot of people I know would pick the unknown. That's pretty awesome!

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    1. Thank you for the kind words and prayers. It is certainly hard to be a mother at times but always such a blessing when I sit down and think about it at the end of the day.

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  2. Oh my, so many changes. This mothering gig is a tough one at times, isn't it? I can totally relate to the growing up and the letting go, we are there right now in a different way and it is hard.

    The Navy thing I cannot relate to, but I can imagine how difficult it is. Wishing you peace as you wait for the decision.

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  3. I think it's wonderful that you are following your daughters lead. May I suggest if you can volunteer and you can see what is going on in the classroom and you can feel part of the experience and not sending her and reuniting at the end of the day. I was an avid volunteer and it helped with the changes.

    I hope whatever the decision is with the navy you will be happy, sounds like so many changes and don't forget having a new little one is another bit change!!

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    1. I will definitely be spending some time at the school. It is just a fun place to be for children and adults! I think every day how our little guy is getting bigger and changing in his looks. I told him the other night that he had to stay little but I don't think that will happen;) I am just enjoying all the snuggly time.

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  4. Insightful, thoughtful, you are so wise Kathleen. Thinking of you as the summer unfolds and brings change.

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